Control the Green-eyed Monster: How to Cope with Jealousy
Do you know that jealousy is actually good for the relationship? It only means that you do really care about the person. However, you don’t need a lot of it. If you are having a hard time coping with jealousy, then there must be something wrong with you, and you have to learn how to control it.
Here are some tips on how to deal with the green-eyed monster:
1. Determine the real cause of your jealousy. Ask yourself, “Why am I jealous in the first place?” You’ll realize that it actually has a much deeper cause. For example, you feel jealous when your husband goes out on Friday nights with his friends not because he doesn’t date you on those days but because you feel abandoned or rejected. You may be left alone on Friday nights by your parents.
2. Discuss it with your partner. It’s common for people to say, “This is my issue, not his.” Hey, guess what, it’s his too. Unless you tell him, he’ll never really understand why you seem to be so distant on the phone when he’s out of town or why you don’t like having his female colleagues invited in the house. Moreover, he can help you better deal with your jealousy. You can tell him what you don’t like, and perhaps he may just avoid it so you won’t feel bad anymore.
3. Keep the communication lines open. Communication is key to a good and long-lasting relationship. It’s how you build trust, honesty, and commitment. The moment you stop talking to each other, it’s not impossible for jealousy to creep in. You’ll be so suspicious on what he’s up to or doubtful of his actions. You also need communication to always feel reassured of his love and dedication toward you.
4. Increase your self-confidence. Do you know one of the major reasons of jealousy? It’s insecurity. You always think you’re not better than the others. You’re not as beautiful as her ex, you’re not as successful as he, you’re not as rich as his boss—the list can go on and on.
You have to accept that there will always be someone better than you, in the same way there are better people than those whom you are insecure with. The most important thing is you’re secured and comfortable of who you are.
If you’re having trouble in this area, why don’t you try using affirmations or subliminal messages? You can incorporate them in your daily living. You can download and listen to subliminal messages mp3 downloads or watch their videos. They usually carry positive messages, especially about self-acceptance, confidence, and inner strength.
You have to listen or watch them regularly, though, as you need to feed them into your subconscious. Subsequently, it will be your subconscious mind that would influence your conscious through empowerment.
Always remember: don’t use your partner to fill that void. Regardless of whatever relationship you’re into, you should be part of it as a whole or complete person.