How to Prevent Your Kids from Lying
You received a call from school, informing you that your child hadn’t arrived at school. You became frantic the entire day when suddenly your kid come barging in. You asked him where he had been, and he flatly said he was in school.
Isn’t that hurtful and frustrating? No parent would want their child to like, more so straight to his or her face. But how do you exactly deal with that?
The following may be helpful:
1. Know the reason for the lying. There are plenty of reasons why children lie. It’s either they are afraid of the consequences or you tolerate them (you allowed them to come up with stories and accept them as truths). Get to the bottom of the lying and see if it’s something you can correct immediately. Once you eliminate the reason, you may be able to get rid of the lies.
2. Create and enforce rules. If you don’t want to be lied to, then you need to develop certain rules and penalties. But the real struggle of parents isn’t really creating the laws but enforcing them. Children know how to touch their parents’ soft spots. Before you know it, you’re giving in to their requests.
It’s time to be very firm if you want to implement a change. If you mean no TV for the entire week, then there should be none for seven days.
Needless to say, ensure that your children understand the reason for the punishment. This way they wouldn’t think they’ve been penalized for no reason. Further, be careful with the penalties you gave. You don’t want those that can physically, emotionally, and psychologically hurt the child.
3. Teach them while they’re young. If you don’t want your children to lie when they grow up you should teach them how to be honest when they’re still young. The young ones are much easier to train since they can absorb every lesson you gave them.
4. Be a good example. You can never preach about honesty if you yourself lie. That’s why if you say you’re going to pick them up from school, you should strive hard to do it. Never lie to your family members or to your friends. Most of all, never catch yourself lying in front of your children.
5. Don’t judge the person but the action. Do you know that people learn to live up to their labels? If you call someone a thief, then there’s a huge chance he’s going to believe that and start stealing. If you tell your child he’s a liar, he might as well continue with it, because you already believe in it.
6. Keep yourself sane with affirmations. Parents with lying children would often question themselves, “Did I do something wrong?” It’s easy for you to put the blame on yourself when there are other factors that would have caused it, including the influence of his or her peers.
If you need to get back on track in disciplining your children, you can use subliminal messages:
I don’t judge my child but his wrongdoing.
I forgive what he’s done but won’t tolerate his action.
I can definitely help change his behavior.