How to Make Your Child into a Star without Being a Hyperparent
Every parent wants nothing but the best for their kids. A mom would want her children to grow up to be wise, talented, and achievers. So she believes that for her to obtain that, her kids must be prepared early on. She enrolls them in dance classes, pushes them to participate in organizations in and out of school, and lets them get through a series of competitions in the hopes they would bring home the bacon.
You may be doing these because you want your children to achieve something, but guess what, they do not end up too nicely. For one, it makes you a hyperparent.
A hyperparent is someone who interferes in his or her child’s life almost too often. Usually the main goal is to ensure that the kid becomes the first academically or not. You are more focused on goals than on building personal relationships with your kid.
How do you reduce yourself from becoming a hyperparent? Here are some tips:
Get back to what is important: relationships. Relationships should be given more importance than achievements. It is a whole lot better for you to keep your children than to lose them in awards and trophies. Besides, a lot of kids have actually developed resentments toward their parents, especially toward their moms, for the kind of pressure mothers give to them.
Praise and criticize in moderation. You know what they say: too much of something is bad. Children who are overly praised sometimes grow up to be arrogant or know-it-all. It is hard for them to distinguish between right and wrong. In the meantime, those who are usually criticized grow up to be anxious or depressed. They always feel the pressure to excel on their shoulders. It is always essential to strike a balance between criticism and praise. Do it when it is only necessary.
Spend time with your kid doing nothing. Consider being with your child for no reason at all. The purpose is to bond, to get to know the child beyond his or her achievements or recognitions. In the same way, the kid gets to know you more than just a directress or an overbearing parent.
Remind yourself that your child’s life is not yours. One of the reasons why you tend to control your child’s life is you are frustrated with your own. Perhaps you have plenty of dreams, but something happened, causing you to lose a lot or all of them. You are also ashamed because it feels like you have not accomplished something.
But your achievements may not be what your children need. Keep in mind they are completely different individuals who will grow up with a whole new set of visions and goals, even far different from yours.
When you feel like you are about to get a lot of control, use subliminal messages. Tell yourself that “It’s my child’s life to live” or “I am a parent. I should respect what my kid wants and be here to support all his or her dreams.”