Are You Scared of Losing? Don’t Be
Men are generally born and bred to be competitive, and we fight to be the best in almost everything: jobs, families, parents’ affection, sports, women—the list could just go on and on. The sad part is we were trained to win, but were never thought how to be more gracious and accepting to losing. Thus, when things get out of control and we don’t end up the winner, it hurts a lot.
How can you avoid feeling the brunt of losing or perhaps reduce your fear over it? Better yet, how do you become the winner in losing? Here are some ways:
1. Acknowledge and accept that it’s part of life. You can’t win all the time. There are times when you’re rejected or someone comes along who is a lot better than you. Unless you accept this as cardinal truth, you’ll have issues with losing all your life. The first step to reducing the fear is to accept wisdom such as this.
2. Don’t put all things up into your head. One of the reasons why you’re having a hard time dealing with a loss is because you consider all types of competitions too seriously. There are times when you have to be loose and realize that they may be developed for the spirit of good clean fun.
3. Remember: there are other chances. If you lose this time, there may be some opportunities where you’ll win. It’s all a matter of time and chances. For instance, if you lose the championship game this year, you may have another year to look forward to. If you the woman you like decides to choose another, then perhaps someone much better will come along. Always remember there are different forms of winning.
4. Forgive what happened and yourself. Don’t go into the blaming game when you lose. Don’t feel guilty or ashamed about it. It happens to everybody at some point in his or her life. To move on, just dust yourself off and forgive the past and yourself for what happened. Forgive yourself because you allow such experience to hurt you a lot.
5. Enjoy the lessons you pick up along the way. Think of losing as lessons. If you didn’t end up getting the promotion, it may be a way of telling you to seek another job or perhaps improve more on your skills. Once you consider losses as lessons to be learned and experienced, you didn’t lose anything at all.
6. Change your mind-set. It may take awhile before you can erase the idea that you lose everything when you don’t win, but you have to. You need to change the way your mind thinks from now on. You can do that by using subliminal messages or affirmations. Make it a point to tell yourself, “I am getting better and better each day” or “Losing is part of life, and I accept it.” You can also use subliminal messages for forgiving the past, for remembering about chances, and for viewing losses as bits of wisdom or lessons.